Good morning, slipnslide. I know just how you're feeling. Here's where the misery can end.
I had many Day Ones - and now I have over 10 yrs. sober. I had to finally admit that each time it was in my system I was inviting danger & chaos into my life. I got dui's, created havoc - all while insisting I could control the amounts I drank. I was desperate to not let go of it - but why? It was no longer fun in any way. A temporary feeling of elation, and then a huge letdown, remorse, guilt. It's so wonderful when we lay it down for the last time. We are getting free, not giving anything up. You can do it this time, slipnslide.