Welcome back, ATB. Moderation has never worked for me--I have no off switch when it comes to drinking. Once I get started there is no predicting what will happen except that it will be a total disaster.
There is a phenomena called kindling--every time you quit is harder than the last. I was 30 when I first quit and it was no big deal. I relapsed after 15 years and when I stopped again 5 years later I suffered hallucinations and seizures. That wasn't enough for me and when I drank again after nearly 3 years sober I ended up attempting suicide and wrecking my car in the process. Kindling is real.
I wish you all the best on your journey--sobriety is the best gift you could ever give to yourself and your loved ones.