Why do I have such a hard time with this cycle?
many alcoholics can have the obsession that some day they will be able to control their drinking.many of us wanted to believe we were like other people- we could have a few drinks and walk away with no ill consequences.
many have taken that thought into some pretty deep depths of alcoholism. some even to death.
what i think youre missing from your plan is addressing the alcoholism- a plan that involves action of change.
there are quite a few options of recovery plans/programs available.