Thanks for all the thoughts. Its funny I watched a similar situation play out with one of my sisters children who went to live with her dad. She had to experience first hand the reality of her father and that experience allowed my sister to have a very close relationship with her daughter. Had she fought it they may not be that close. I can't keep protecting them or anyone from the truth of who he has become. Its not my shame nor theirs, we have been living his shame for so long. To anyone who asks I will tell them my truth. No judgement and no guilt just the facts. Let the chips fall, they are not my chips anyway.