well...see, i think if she's still angry, then fine, she's still angry.
doing four and sharing with another person and power greater than me as i understand that in takingthe fifth step was about sharing that, trusting someone else to hear it; anger, hurt, shame, humiliation and all.
my sponsor never attempted to make me feel differently or had anything resembling an agenda of how they thought i ought to see something or what a "better" perspective would be or that they knew what i was supposed to " get".
they never tried to be a director. they facilitated.
they guided me through the process by sharing their experience and knowledge. their questions were open- ended ones, with the aim of helping me clarify for myself, and they did not ever assume, as far as i can tell, that they knew how i felt. they asked me. straightforward, often as simple as the cliched " and how do you feel about that?" or "and what is your desired outcome in this situation?"
they never tried to change me, but led me through the steps of me allowing myself to be changed, so to speak.
when i read what you are thinking, or sure of, or afraid of here, i am concerned that you have an internal script which has you thinking you know how she feels, how she SHOULD feel and act, what she SHOULD be experiencing, how her journey through this ought to go and turn out.
it is hers, and the steps are the map, so to speak. how she walks that is hers to actually walk.
setting boundaries is necessary, and is about what you are willing and not willing to let into your life and space. boundaries are about ourselves.
quite different from from expectations we put on others about how they ought to act.
oh! the nun? she helped by listening, first and foremost, and accepting without judging, and directing me away from getting bogged in details into a wider view of seeing patterns. patterns relating to my 'defects of character' . quite a surprise, and definitely not what i had expected. it was not a reading of the multitude of pages i had written for step four, thoughi had brought that with me.
it really was a hearing and helping me discern the " nature of my wrongs", not the detailed enumeration.