This sounds as though you are going through stuff out of your own control, which in turn leads to feelings of helplessness, projection and fear. We all have choice, you can choose to hope over fear for example, asking your higher power to guide and lead you through this time, recognise that it is a feeling of powelessness which is making you feel the way you do, and in times like this we need to surrender, to what will be will be, hand it over, pray for the best possible outcome. Focus on this day and this day only to help keep anxiety and fear at bay. X x