I’ve been on SSRIs off and on throughout life and found they made me want to drink more. I also found they didn’t really work for me so I haven’t been on any for years. I found some natural things that have helped and when I’m actually disciplined and taking them and eat well, I feel well again. But I’m with you, my body is telling to stop and I just don’t. It’s like I have no concept of self love or appreciation for what my body has already had to endure for decades now. I wish I could get that caring feeling back again.