My STBAXH still to this day tries to blame me for our marriage failing. I would take it to heart at first but then I thought to myself if he never had a drinking problem our marriage would have most likely made it. All the fights, money problems, lies, cheating was centered around his alcoholism. Our marriage was doomed for failure as long as he kept drinking. There would have been nothing I could do alone to save it.
I am learning that alcoholics will always deflect from their problem and pick on someone else to draw attention away from the true problem which is their drinking. As hard as it is try not to take what he is saying to heart (it's super hard I know). Focus on you and what you need to be in a peaceful place. If that requires separation then so be it. Start taking care you : )