Getting there but it is not easy
O.K there are so many of you that are so far ahead of where I am but once were in my shoes. My husband & I are still living together but we met last night at Starbucks so we could try to have an adult conversation about our next steps. I told my husband I wanted him to get into a program or it was time to separate. We went back & forth for an hour as he shared how I am not a wife to him & in the end we agreed the only thing to do was to separate. But my husband says & does things to see my reaction & I am done playing games. We are not in high school. He left early for work & as I was home getting ready to go to work he texted me asking what our decision was yesterday. I know my husband does not want us to separate but he is not ready to quit so I need to be the strong one & move forward with this separation. I texted my husband back he needed to get in a program or move out. His response was:
Totally agree with you on almost all the things you say. The one hang up that I have is that it's all about what you want. You make the rules for what is going to happen, and I need to fall in line with all that. You should know by now that will never work. Like I said before, the only thing that I'm looking for is closeness to you and to have a wife/husband relationship. Why is that so hard to Do? I've gone through really hard times and tried to do my best to be who you want, but it's just never enough. I'm going to look into rehab again, because it effects my work as well as us. You need to look at yourself and wonder why you are so resistant to giving me what I want.
It is hard for me to accept he just does not get what his drinking has done to me as his wife over the years. I have not replied & I am sure most of you would say there is nothing left to say but it is so hard that he still wants to turn this all on me. Not sure how I can feel like such a strong person but his replies have me doubting have I done all I can. I do know I am sticking with him getting in a program or moving out so I know I have made progress but it does not make it any easier.