Hurt and Confused
My ex of a year and a half broke up with me 6 months ago. We always had a rocky relationship because I always felt like he was hiding something from me. He was very forgetful, had stomach issues, had issues sleeping, and was just very hard to understand. He wasnt too bad until I broke up with him the first time. I did this in the Hope's that he would fight to fix things. He didnt. He walked out and then became really mean. He was back and forth with me. One day he would want to be with me and the next he treated me like I was a piece of gum on his shoe. He was talking to an ex from years ago at this time. Anyways, he just acted so different than who he was. We got back together after a month and he was so different. His sickness seemed to get worse. He was distant and not just from me, everyone. Well, we argued a lot because I caught him in stupid lies and he would forget basically everything that we had discussed and he became very very into gaming. He would spend 10 hours a day gaming and almost never sleep. Most nights he would sleep for four hours. We started to fight a lot. He broke up qith me 3 days before my birthday and while I was sick. He said I was his world but he couldn't handle my **** and that I was the woman he wanted to spend his life with but I hated everything about him. I love and loved this man more than anything in the world but something wasnt right. 2 months after the breakup he said he loved me, missed me, and wanted to get back together. Then, again, said he couldn't commit to it. Ik said I deserved commitment. He blocked me. A week later I found out about the drugs from a mutual friend. I asked him about it through social media. He got defensive and blocked me. I haven't heard from him in four months. I still talk to his mom, who says he doesnt talk to anyone. He isnt he same person and I'm so confused. This man said he wanted me to be the mother of his children and that he would never leave but he did.. and then I found out about the drugs. I feel like our entire relationship was shifted when I found out about the drugs. I want to fix things but he wont even talk to me. Anyone have any advice on how to heal or how to deal with this?