It isn't easy, but as Scott suggests, there is plenty you can do right now.
One thing that will help a great deal to distract yourself is a deep clean of your apartment--scrub, declutter, wash your sheets and do some self-care for yourself.
Also, healthy food is pretty important for recovery--whole foods made from scratch can be inexpensive, tasty, and help you heal.
There are so many cooking tutorials online now, even if you don't usually cook, you can make some excellent food.
You can do this--you can totally change your trajectory and quicker than you think
Wishing you the best