Originally Posted by
ProfessorD 
So I was wondering, why did you get sober? Did you have one big reason (a DUI? A health scare? Doing if for your kids? An epiphany of some sort?) Or did you have a bunch of little reasons? Are the little reasons enough?
Good question, I got sober because I found myself craving and planning to want to drink rather than of it being a spontaneous social occurrence. And when I would have just one, I could wait to be done to have another.
I found myself, hiding, lying, being manipulative when I know I'm not that person but it made me do things I would not do sober. And I justify it. I would say it was a one time occurrence, or a weekend bender, or a holiday occasion, or this person did it too... all of it is insane thinking. I don't want to be that person so I'm trying harder and harder to not relapse. I don't want to give my power away. If that makes sense.
I didn't post all weekend, went away to think about things up north for the Holiday, drank one day but woke up thinking this is it and poured everything I owned out. And my husband and I had an honest conversation about it. I cant be partly in and partly out, doesn't work. Maybe you haven't experienced the same but this has been my story thus far. I had 6 years of not worrying about what I did or what my cover story would be. It's exhausting.