Originally Posted by
Seren 
And I pray--every day--that my friends are OK. That they are happy or at least working toward happy. That they are surrounded by supportive and loving people who bring joy to their world. And I have not prayed to be one of those people, because then my prayer becomes about me--and it isn't about me. It's about them and their ultimate well-being.
^^^^ This and it took me one hell of a long time to get to this place. I used to pray that, "God would bring him whatever would benefit him." With time, I realized I was not a benefit to him at all. This was hard to swallow and very humbling.
Over time I realized that it didn't matter how smart/pretty/kind/caring I was. What really mattered is that we both live our lives the best we could each with our own burden of wounds and challenges. His wounds and challenges were none of my business.
And it hurt beyond hurt beyond hurt.
Please be kind to yourself Glenjo as what you are going through is no joke. There really should be some kind of spa/rehab/camp for us while we go through the crippling pain of walking away (or being shoved away) from the addict alcoholic.