Originally Posted by
GerandTwine 
You’ve done it mirrorball. You’ve ended your addiction without ever giving up your personal responsibility for using and for quitting; without ever giving up your knowing you could do it by yourself.
As to your not looking forward to a boring month, I believe there is no such thing as “boredom” for people outside of solitary prison confinement. It’s your Beast that is now in solitary prison confinement.
YOU, on the other hand, are now positioned for all kinds of experiences with the huge variety of profound and subtle human thoughts and feelings that go with it. I’ve found life MUCH more nuanced and interesting as a teetotaler than it was getting that same old whammy of chemically enhanced whatever-you-want-to-call-it.
Your Beast will be continuing to make you feel doubt about staying quit. Your Big Plan (with whatever jewelry and rituals you might enjoy to honor it) is the guarantee of your permanent abstinence.
Thanks.. I actually felt really good this morning, as good as any cocaine high or better, as I have started jogging and went for a jog in the sunshine. I always have loads of energy in the morning. Maybe i'm beginning to feel a bit of the ACE?
Also I appreciated being able to be there for my kids and go places with them today. They won't stay little for ever so this time is important. Most of all I don't want them to grow up and I feel like I f'd up being a parent and it's too late. I used to dread them waking up when I was 'on one', and hate being high or coming down around them. Now I love it when they wake up so we can hang out!
I have to admit I still do get the echo when I say 'never' but in the RR book that is normal?
Its funny, yesterday I ended up being delayed on my journey home and got very hungry. I decided to go and get a takeaway and as I was quite hungry I began to feel a strong drive to find some food, and an increasing sense of urgency , cursing every red light on the way there. I thought how similar this feeling was to when I had an intense craving.. definitely a perverted survival drive originating from deep in my midbrain.
Beast hasn't gone away completely, nor am I expecting it to, but I'm definitely feeling like I've seen some progress and I have to say thank you to all the posters on this thread.