I agree, Snufkin.
Try something different.
I have anxiety too, but it is ten thousand percent better than it was when I was letting it run my life. Anxiety is human and normal. How I react to it is where Recovery happens.
It's in that split second between the thought and the action.
Coming here first is an action that will help. It got me out of my own head more than once in early days. I re-trained my brain to do something different. In time the destructive thoughts waned. It takes practice, just like anything. Like your art. Practice.
You don't suck. How's that, "I love you," thing going? It doesn't have to make sense, but just know that we are suggesting things that worked for us - it can't hurt to try.