I can relate in how a partner seems much more compatible and attractive while you are in a consistently drunken state. Although, I was never married, I dated many women (internet) where I was never really sober. After a few dates, things would inevitably fizzle out. Either I sobered up, or they realized I had drinking problem.
Clear-minded, none of these women were probably a good match seeing as they often had dealt with alcoholism with a partner or family member before.