Originally Posted by
mirrorball 
You may only make a BP once, but surely you have to honour it many many times over, every time you hear the AV in fact?
So what is to stop someone making it, and meaning it at the time, but then failing to honour it in the future? In the past this is what I've done, repeatedly.
This time I have just basically realised that I either stop for good, or I'll keep going round and round the addictive cycle, and there's too much at stake. In the past I've never quite accepted this, always thinking I can continue to dabble - to the point where it's quite illogical that I could believe that but still I did. I've been feeling huge amounts of grief/sadness at this decision/realisation that it's 'over' (or, my beast has) more so than ever before which makes me feel like maybe this time I'm actually serious.
All the times that I quit temporarily I did it because I wanted to avoid the bad things that were happening from getting high.
When I eventually quit for good it was because I was finally willing to give up forever that deep tsunami of pleasure that I had grown so accustomed to.
I learned that pain and negative experiences are forgotten faster than pleasurable positive ones. So, knowing I would forget the bad feeling and still remember the good feelings, it was important for me to Recognize from the moment I made my pledge of permanent abstinence that I was giving up FOREVER that assault of chemically enhanced, ecstatic stupidity that I had grown to love over more than ten years.
So, you’re right. ALL the negative/bad thoughts and feelings about quitting for good are IT, your AV.
Tell us now. What are the GOOD thoughts/feelings you have when you realize your addiction can be OVER today.