Horn, Sorry for what you are going thru man. That hurts!. Please don't drink over it. It will only make things worse.
First off, your wife should have called no matter what or where she is...she could use million other phones around to just say what is going on...Not knowing creates a million thoughts and you try to tie it to other things ....
Second, She has kids too. She holds responsibility and accountability too.
Third, If you have been honest about what you did. She should be, rather than making up s**t (i am assuming here...she could be honest).
Finally, again, It's not worth wasting yourself drinking, you need to put your vigilance gear on and navigating the further best course of action, keeping kids in mind. You are the best person to decide that.
Overall, staying sober will make you a better decision maker.