Thanks for the inside tip, Bim.
Not that I am going to do this in the foreseeable future, maybe when I am financially thriving I would fancy something like this.
I am having a bout of excruciating depression. Not really much to say here. A few pages back I saw quotes about the change which happens when pain of staying where you are is bigger than the fear of change.
I have ridiculous tolerance for unnecessary pain. When by any means I've already had enough, I keep tolerating.
And I have crippling depression as by product.
I remember four years ago i was struggling within borderline suicidal depression.
It took me I don't know how many times to tell my shrink that I can't take this "home assignments" any more and probably I need meds. At some point, when I couldn't possibly take another nano gram of this I started crying and said "I can't think about anything any more. I am done. I am falling apart".
When they finally sent me to psychiatrist for evaluation I told him "Emotional pain is that bad I would prefer to break my knee caps".
I don't want to wait to break my knee caps to progress to change. But lesser pain doesn't seem to be enough to propel me further.
Catch-22.