Originally Posted by
NormieNorma 
So, we had the conversation. Now I'm even more sure he thinks he can make things go well when he can't, but he is insisting on having her over. So, I told him that if things go south as judged by me alone, I am taking our child to a resort to play in their lazy river and that I then expect him to protect our house and deal with any authorities as needed.
You've gotten some excellent advice here. If your husband can somehow be persuaded to try an ACOA meeting or two, that would be great -- but I know very well that you can't make someone go to a meeting if they're not interested! Awhile back, I sent my sister (World's Biggest Codependent™) an ACOA red book, and rumor has it that she actually cracks it open once in awhile! Might be worth a try....
T