Originally Posted by goodbyeevan

Hmmm love love love this. I was already planning a sunset hike with my bf but the addition of some snacks may be in order too. I am lucky I have so many mountaintops to choose from.

Hope you're doing ok today Snuf. I think lots of us are probably familiar with that line of thinking, at least I am. Get messed up and have fun but then when you're home and alone with your thoughts the self harm creeps in. Please message me if you want or before you go have drinks with your mates. The last time i relapsed after 21 days of not drinking, I was sitting on my porch railing just wishing I had the "guts" to jump off and break my legs or die. I can't count the times I acted out while drunk and tried to harm myself, sometimes successfully. I wanted attention, I wanted to feel the pain I felt inside, I wanted relief, I wanted help. I woke up the next day after that relapse and went to AA and got a sponsor. Whether it's AA or SR, get yourself someone you can call when the temptation rises. Both the drinking and the self harm. These thoughts are not us. They are alcohol and mental illness. Only with time can we heal and learn to love ourselves as we are. Much love to you today lady.