Originally Posted by
goodbyeevan 
Sunset hike was beautiful. Found our own private viewing rock. Next time I will bring bug spray!
Wondering about our different paths of recovery. He mentioned tonight about how when I talk about AA it makes him think more about drinking. He says he couldn't go to meetings because talking about alcohol makes him want to drink. Out of sight, out of mind he said. Trying not to borrow trouble. Maybe I'm overreacting. It just seems like the wrong way to go about staying sober. What do I know though? Sometimes I just feel like saying, if you're going to drink eventually, just get on with it! I feel like there's a reservation there and it scares me. He's a hard one to get to open up, even after 6 years together. I love him and don't want to lose our new sober lives together but sometimes I worry. I just went over my fears with my sponsor today and one of my big ones is losing my sobriety so I guess that's why this is on my mind.
Not sure if you know, but I have been through this. And I have had to think long and hard about what codependency means to me....in the end, the conclusion I came to is that I can love and protect my partner always, but his sobriety is his choice. Which was not easy for me to get to....anyway....
as AA people, we hear the term dry drunk which I do not like at all, but I get the concept....managing this disease without a program of recovery is scary for me. I couldn't do it.
I think the fact that you guys are talking about this is huge....it is not always that easy. We all have different ways of managing this though, and perhaps abstinence only works for some.
Probably a useless post....it is too early in the morning....love you Alex.
♥♥