Originally Posted by
Pathwaytofree 
Sean, this is EXACTLY where I'm at. I was on a career path and all, but then I got very burnt out, had some health issues, and then I just got stuck. I feel very much like I am lacking purpose and direction. How did you find your purpose and direction?
Perseverance. I learned to love myself and after years of hating myself, I learned to trust my own ability to make good choices. I continued making good choices and putting in the work on myself through depression and through suicidal thoughts. Eventually I popped out on the other side and I felt like I had purpose for the first time in my life.
Going to meetings and finding people that were already living the way I wanted to live went a long way towards getting me started.
Originally Posted by
Pathwaytofree I also read some books from similar sources. However, I have a lot of difficulty processing what I'm reading and APPLYING it. I'm actually frustrated right now with certain things about Christianity, and have gotten a few books on Buddhism. But this is what I do, unfortunately. I hop from one subject to another, trying to find something that works. I've done this with so many aspects of my life, and it's frustrating. I just can't seem to settle into that comfort zone of saying, "Ah, this is it! This is me." The latest book I got is called "Unf*ck Yourself". Lol. I need something that'll just say it to me directly and bluntly. Maybe I need a drill sargent to get me out of this being stuck stuff.
Keep looking for things that work. Once you find what works, don’t stop doing that. It’s different for everybody. As long as you don’t give up looking for what is for you, you will be surprised what you might find.
Originally Posted by
Pathwaytofree Good for you!!! How did you decide on these goals?
As I progressed and learned to look inward with compassion, most of my goals unfolded in front of me. Opportunities presented themselves being around the right people at the right time pushed me towards setting other goals.
Originally Posted by
Pathwaytofree Would you mind sharing your daily recovery plan you set up for yourself? And how did you come up with it?
It’s ever evolving. It started out very simple: No more negative things in my body. No more dishonest relationships. No more negative people in my life. That was my first recovery plan. It’s evolved and now simply put I work on balance and being mindful.
So, I would start my day making my bed, I would meditate for 15 minutes. I try to write in a gratitude book daily (I struggle with resentments). I go to at least one meeting a week and more if possible as I really get a lot out of going to them. I exercise outside and get sunlight and fresh air and try to spend as much time in nature as I can. I work on my goals. I try to balance all those things, alongside work, friends and my girlfriend.
Originally Posted by
Pathwaytofree How did you learn to be this way? I'm still like that 3 year old who gives up at the second of frustration, because of all the negative messages. Then again, I have started a new hobby and although I joke with my teacher about giving up and trying something else, she knows how much I really love it. I have noticed I'm being less hard on myself. The negative messages in my head are not there anymore, thanks to my step work. But I think they're still there subconsciously. I'm trying to push through and not give up this time. But I think even when I joke about giving up, there's truth underneath the joke.
I started off in a very bad place early on in my recovery. I was overwhelmed with emotions and I was ready to quit life altogether. It’s probably been 3 years since I had any thought about suicide or going back out or quitting anything. I am sure if you narrow it down to a moment by moment experience then you will have great success in your endeavors as well. In fact I’m positive you will. It takes time and life is not about avoiding rough patches, it’s about making it through intact and growing stronger because of it.
Originally Posted by
Pathwaytofree I am eager to hear how you learned this all and how you applied it. This is better than anything I've learned in therapy!! Also please share your favorite books--ones that are most simple to put into practice. I can't tolerate deep philosophical books right now.
LOL! all of my books are deeply philosophical or nerdy and science based. There’s More Than One Way to Get to Cleveland by Todd Crandell was one of the more simple books I’ve read. It is structured well. Everyone has their own unique way that they like to learn. I found that I like less structure when it comes to books and more big ideas and understanding the emotions and thoughts that underly actions and choices. F you like books to have more clear cut instructions, then I do not think I will be able to provide you with a long list. But I had to read a lot of books I didn’t care for to find the ones that really did speak to me.