I struggled with all kinds of issues over my life...I get it with the food, the alcohol, the sweets, the self-harming. May as well add cigarettes, gambling, drugs and inappropriate sex while I'm at it. OH! Shopping. Pretty classic pathology. My love goes out to all who are struggling. It was always about control (or lack of it) for me.
As much as I agree with PJ's great post, I think the one thing that did help me the most was a strong connection to the greater Creation/Nature/God - whatever you want to call "it." That we are all connected in this short blip of a life. The acceptance that I cannot do it alone. That we all struggle. That this life can be difficult. Difficult isn't a reason for me to self-destruct. There are solutions for whatever the problem is, and the solution is within.
I'll again say that my biggest recovery has been from codependency. I was raised as a good little go-along, get-along, don't-make-waves, don't tell family secrets, worry-about-what-everyone-thinks person. My mother was raised like that and she tried to mold me into this person who always went along with - rather than confront. Boundaries? What is that? I didn't learn about boundaries until I was 30. Thank you baby Jesus for finally getting through to me. I don't have to put myself last. I can stand up for and go after what I want. I am worth it, just as I am. I can protect myself from harm and I can practice self-care. Daily. Emphasis on the Daily part. It is a discipline.
I have a 100% success rate in getting through bad days. As Dee would say, they don't have to be graceful. Many (most) of them are survived without hurting myself because of it. That's a big deal for me. I stopped punishing myself for other peoples' actions.