Welcome to SR! As you have already seen, there is loads of good info on here.
I'm about to go to my bed (it's late here in the UK), but I'm sure there are others who'll be along to say hi too.
May I just point something out that struck me when I read your post?
or I will lend her the deposit money for an apartment
Take it from someone who is having to take their ex to court for money lent (through enabling) - please think very carefully about this course of action. If she is a grown adult, it is her responsibility to stump up the deposit.
Looking forward to getting to know you.