So, I stopped drinking and made it 4 days and then when I was on vacation at my sister's house, I slipped and drank...about a bottle of wine.
Oddly, I didn't really care if I drank but I didn't want anyone to know I was not drinking and I usually have wine at dinner when I visit with them. Dumb.
Felt like crap the next day of course. Didn't drink for a couple more days and then had 2 beers (large) with dinner this past Saturday. So, this is day 5.
I have no idea if I'm really going through withdrawal. Maybe I'm just nuts. I've dealt with depression and anxiety in the past, so it's hard for me to tell if this is just that.
I'm not sure I've been drinking enough for long enough to be experiencing this, but it's been a rough week, and it can't just be coincidence, can it?
I haven't felt like eating. Sometimes because I'm not hungry, other times, I feel my stomach being hungry but am not interested in food and have no motivation to do anything about it. Nothing sounds good either.
I sweat at night when I sleep. Sleep has been a mixed bag. Didn't do too bad last night but sweated some...maybe not as bad as usual. I've had sweat issues in the past that aren't related to alcohol, so who knows. I suspect hormones may play some role as well.
But the most challenging issue though is that I've had is horrible anxiety.
I keep thinking it's getting better, but it greets me every morning. It's been hard to function. I have a business to run. Luckily I've been able to farm some stuff out but that makes me more anxious not bringing in as much money. I keep thinking, hoping this will pass and I'll feel like doing something, but I feel crippled by anxiety.
Sometimes I just break down and can't stop crying. I've called friends to lean on but I feel so scared, sad and alone. And I feel like a helpless burden to others. No one knows how to help. I feel like my body is tingling with electricity or something.
Part of me prays this is just withdrawal because perhaps that means in time I'll feel better. But, I worry I'm just going crazy.