Whats gotten you past the other paydays so far Timm?
My bottom line was I had to take the option of drinking off the table.
There was no mental or physical imperative for me to drink - obsessions and cravings pass with what is really only a little discomfort.
The anticipation of that discomfort tho was a real mind bender.
Get to your support structure whether it's here on SR or elsewhere and tie yourself to the chair if needs be.
You can get through this without drinking and you will be stronger for it coming out the other side.
D