THe only person that can tell you if you are "really in recovery" is yourself....it doesn't matter what other people think, recovery is an inside job.
For me, there have been times when I would think, "I don't like so and so and they are going to be at this particular meeting, so I'm not going" or "I can't do NA b/c I hate religion and everyonr there is a bible thumping freak..." In all actuality, that is my addict talking to me in my own voice to try to get me to push myself away from my recovery. What my disease wants is me to find any fault I can with NA and raationalize any reason for me to quit this "12 step ********" b/c my disease wants me dead but it will settle for miserable.
Keep on keeping on,
-Blake