All I will say is first condolences. I went no contact with my alcoholic ex husband in 2009, he died in 2017. We divorced in 09 after 8 years. I then spent another 8 years hating him.
I wish to heck I had been sober when I found out he died, I really wish I didn't use alcohol to cope. I had a ton of resentments that boiled over once he was dead and set off a over a year of hell for me, until by the grace of God I got sober. Took maybe three months then to let it all go.
Today I am in a great place, happy, I don't cry for him or feel bad for him, he was offered the gift of sobriety time and time again, he refused. I thank God every day I took it and cling on with both hands. I hold onto the good memories of the marriage, but they are in that part of my mind where all the good memories of past relationships hang out. Bad memories I banish. Sobriety helped me do that.