Every time I think I can stop and only drink on special occasions, I end up on a bender and I have to start over again. Sometimes it’s days, and then I’ve spent all my money and smoked down several pizzas and I’m dangerously depressed and feel horrible. Sometimes it’s weeks to months and I run up credit card debt and hurt people I care about and am confused about why and then I’m suicidal and wonder why my life is horrible. Then I have to detox and start all over again. Then I ride that high of sobriety and get over confident again.
Beware the pink cloud, if you think you can drink again just try to push through a bit longer past that plan to drink. This is an active practice. The rent is due every day