Thank you for all of your replies. Especially the ones that quoted me 2 weeks ago. As much as that stung, and as much as I couldn’t even look at what I posted while in that horrible state I was in at that time, i did need the reminder. And also the reminder that I’m not in that place anymore. So again, thank you.
I’m still confident though, and I think that’s okay. I don’t want to wait around for problems that may or may not come. I’m actually really proud of myself for what I did last weekend, being at the biggest trigger of a place I could possibly be at, with the biggest bunch of triggers (people) I could possibly be with. I was at the bar that basically began my life in my relatively new city. My first social memories of this city revolve around that bar. It’s ‘our spot’. Last weekend, I was also there with my ‘best friend’, and while sadly 98% of our friendship revolved around drinking, I still kept it together. I randomly ran into my aunt and her new boyfriend while there last weekend, and her and this guy is one of a couple of stressful situations that set me off into my horrible bender last month around Memorial Day. All of that last weekend, and I still kept it together, and drank too much cranberry juice and topped off another half of La Croix while driving the drunk friend home.
I feel like I need to look at my strengths in this going forward. Yes keep my guard up and not get complacent, but also not be waiting for problems.