Nervous About Slipping Again
I've tried to stop multiple times, and have for months at a time, weeks at a time.
Every time when I start to feel good I go for a couple and completely go off the rails for 5-10+ days and when I come back I'm pretty useless for 3 days and start from 1 again.
I'm beginning to think its because in my mind I haven't 100% committed to life, and maybe its because when I do start to feel good I don't catch myself before I slip, and then... it happens. Either just because, or stress, or because "I need it on a date or to be social".
And each time seems to get heavier than last along with the anxiety afterwards. I don't want it to happen again, knowing it could be even worse. I am lucky I haven't lost much but money and peace of mind up until now.
I'm a few days since the last at this point.
Any suggestions?