Yes, Lynn, if it only brings misery, why do it ! Right now and for quite some time, it has not been around me that much . I think if I was truly unresolved, I would have taken advantage of all the free pot I want by now, but I'm truly not interested. I like waking up with a clear mind . I like having more energy. I like making better decisions. I like being kinder to people because I feel better, not burnt out or lazy.
I like feeling more stable and grounded. There's Lots of reason I enjoy not using. If I feel I can comfortably do it once in a blue moon, I will. If that changes, I'll completely let it go. I look at it like going out for drinks once and awhile. I enjoy the moment, knowing I'll feel a bit off tomorrow, but I would never do it again the next day, just like I don't drink the next day after being out either. I think for me, that is key and has been working so far. I kind of regret saying this in here, but then I didn't want to lie to you guys and I knew Paco or someone would ask how I was, so I thought I might as well speak the truth. I also think I used to use it to avoid uncomfortable feelings/situations, where as now, I don't want to avoid uncomfortable feelings, but rather process them correctly. So, I think that is a big change too. The need to escape my feelings is not there as I practise more and more to face them head on , in the moment and allow them to be there til they are ready to go. I hope I didnt make anyone uncomfortable here - that was clearly NOT my intent ! congratulations Lynn , that is a huge achievement after 30 years ! I'm 35 years. If I can't keep it at " once and a blue moon " , I will easily let go 100%.