Gottalife

My thought too.

My next thought was about your issue with triggers. Why not take a deeper look at that? Personally I didn't have triggers, I had excuses as to why I drank which at least some of the time had a certain plausibility.

A certain time of the day, an unpleasant person in my life, stress, fear, feeling happy, sad, raining, fine, dissapointed, delighted, the list is endless. My main trigger was being conscious.

I drank because I am an alcoholic and that is what I do. I used many excuses (triggers) but none of them really stacked up in the light of what happened when I drank.

Let's try one out: It is a perfect day, not a cloud on the horizon. Everything is going really well and alcoholic mind thinks, lets have a wee drinkee, just to relax and enjoy the moment.

That thought came against a background of repeated disastorus experiences that occured almost everytime I drank. I nearly always lost control, quite often did something really stupid, never woke up happy about having been drunk.

Why were these thoughts absent in the moment just before I took the first drink. They were the reality of drinking for me, yet they were easily pushed aside in favour of the idea that this time would be different. I believed the delusion over the reality. Figure out how to fix that and you are on your way to recovery.