Update!
I've not had any Baileys mixed in milk for 3 nights now! I just opened my last pack of cigarettes!
My nerves are getting frazzled! I've SOOOO wanted to do this for so many years, but just never got the nerve up to make it happen! And now here I am! Almost at the starting gate to making it happen! I'm so excited to finally make this happen, but so scared of starting it!
Every time hubby walks by me or I hug him? He smells so clean w/o the tobacco smell he wore for so many years ago. He's been smoke free for almost five years now. He tells me quite often: "You stink!" Yes! I know! I want so badly to stop smelling like cigarettes!
I also want to stop making those emergency trips due to just about running out of cigarettes! I've gone w/o the Baileys many times because alcohol doesn't freak me out like the pain pills did whenever I'd get low on them. But since I was out for cigarettes? I got the Baileys too whether I was low on it or not.
It's all been a money eating rat race for me! For far too long! I've made my mind up to stop! And that's exactly what's going to happen! Just like it did with the pain meds and cokes I was drinking!
My husband's dearest friend that has been like a father to him is on his death bed right now. He may not make it thru the night! He told me months ago. He wished he'd never started smoking. And begged me to stop for Jethro's sake and of course my own. He's dying from lung cancer! He said: "When you can't breathe anymore? That's when you'd wished you stopped long before it happened. But by then it's too late!" It's a frightening thing to think about! But most of us know how addictive cigarettes are? Ugh
So more than likely tomorrow I'll be out of cigarettes at some point and that's when I'll start the new chapter of being smoke free!
Everyone have a clean day!
TOD