Waste,
Nobody wants to touch these kind of posts.
Imo....you are eventually going to be forced to quit or at least cut back. You will end up out of options. As a father, I know that if my son became a drunk, i would eventually disown him.
The insane drunk begging for help would no longer be my son until he decided to get clean.
I relate that once we have shown out drinking tendencies it is tough to recover.
I don't consider drinking a disease any more because we choose to do it. We don't choose cancer or exyma.
I used to curl up in a ball and whimper until the crave went away.
These are your earning years. Try to get clean and get to work.
You are going to end up homeless or worse.
Hope this helps you.