Thank you for the replies everyone. I’ve took away something from each one. I’m learning it’s okay to say no to things but god it’s so hard. And it’s totally because of Fear, Obligation, and Guilt! I guess the first step to recovering from my past is recognition. I think this time I just can’t say no because I can already feel the painful guilt I would feel if I didn’t show up. But what I decided I can do is have boundaries. I will stay for an hour, will not bring my child, and will not plan it with her husband. I will just bring food and some decorations and he can do whatever he pleases. And I will say a pleasant hello to my mother and stick to talking with people that are positive. Cause there will be family members I enjoy there.
Thanks everyone. I was in a mental rut and just writing it out has helped me work through it.