No worries about the derailment Minnie - totally understand what you were saying. My AH and I have already separated once. He relapsed after inpatient treatment for 28 days. After a few months, I let him come home after he decided to work a recovery program. He relapsed 2 or 3 more times once he came home and then was sober for 9 months. Being separated was a very difficult decision and I've decided that I cannot go through that again. If we separate again, it will be for the purpose of getting a divorce. Our marriage counselor said that separating to figure things out on our own won't do any good because in order for our marriage to work, we have to figure things out together. I agree with that - plus, separating only to get back together is a roller coaster ride I do not want to take again.