Thank you everyone. I've read your kind words carefully and each of your messages made me feel better. I really did not feel like drinking at all but could recognise how it was almost the perfect storm for a relapse, given how important my relationship and my job are to me.
I ended up calling my sister who gave me some words of encouragement, and I know I am loved and supported by my family. I also went out with friends last night to watch a football game - and my team won at least!!
And I had good news from work about something else, which made me feel optimistic about work again.
Just riding the ups and downs of life...sober.
I am grateful to all you SR folk for being here. It was nice to be able to just get my feelings out on a really bad day for me, and have your support back. Thank you.