Originally Posted by
MidnightBlue 
I am also a proud atheist.
I highly suggest - if you haven't already - that while you are reloading you search YouTube or some other resource and look into what Nietzche has to say about finding & re-defining value after rejecting religion.
It's an important question for us atheists. It sounds to me like you are exhibiting symptoms of struggling a bit to find meaning and value in things? It's a chronic problem these days that largely goes un-talked about...
Hope you are well, and thank you for your kind words. Feel free to PM me if you'd like more direct info about what I'm describing... if you think it would be interesting or helpful.
-B