How to keep AV in check
Hi All,
I’ve hovered and read stories on this forum, and I’ve made a couple attempts at stopping this calendar. I’m 33 and have been a high functioning, closet alcoholic for about 5 years.
“I can quit whenever I want” sounds like a cliche thing to say. I was always self-aware that my behavior wasn’t sustainable, and the alcohol mixed with a subpar diet can and will catch up to me. I always had a plan to stop but the can was easy to kick down the road.
I knew that quitting wouldn’t be the easiest thing in the world, but I was really ignorant to the length and severity of recovery. In fact, if you used the word “recovery” with me a year ago I would have laughed at you and said I’m not a “druggie” who can’t live without a fix. Things like PAWS symptoms, the effect on the nervous system, etc etc... I feel like if I was better educated on the extent of everything, I may have made better choices sooner. But oh well, here we are.
My best effort so far this year was 2.5 weeks. Today marks the finish of day 8.
But “AV” is a real thing. Like, I’m feeling fairly good (a little foggy at times, etc) and once I’m feeling good, I convince myself that I can handle drinking responsibly after I have an off period.
The easy reply is that: “alcoholics can almost never handle that, it’s best not to even take that first step, listen to your own advice now since you trialed it unsuccessfully...”. I get all that, and yet, it’s still a very real and convincing voice. What do you all do to keep AV in check?!?!