Lakegirl….one of the things that is pointed out, in the readings that I have suggested is this----For the alcoholic, there is a war raging inside their head at all times...24/7....between their own self and the alcoholic self (voice)….it goes on , even when they look completely normal, from the outside.
This is caused, basically, by changes in the mesolimbic pathways of the brain...
It is a real thing!
Because of this, it is difficult for the alcoholic to have a relationship with himself....because of the control that alcoholism has inside the brain...much less, dealing with relationships with other people (even those he may love).
This goes for wife, children, etc. If you could see inside h is head...you would be shocked at the turmoil that goes on, in there...
Personally, I think that to expect him to go to your parents, to foster a deeper relationship with them, at this time, is very unrealistic...no matter how ideal it might sound, in theory....
for the alcoholic who is trying to white knuckle it...that probably feels about as important to him as the price of tea in China, right now.....
Alcohol is in control of him, right now....and it is a battle that he will have to fight for himself....as no one else can control him.....
He is not doing what he is doing to be obstructive or to hurt you...he is doing what the disease leads him to do...that is why it is called alcoholism....