I'm a little baffled.
My contingency plan is there for me in case something happens that I CAN'T control.
He can actually control if that happens or not. He decides. If he chooses to have a "contingency plan", that just tells me he's planning on giving me a reason to activate my own plan.
Does anyone see this logic as twisted?
I'm not telling him, "you WILL tell my parents or else!". That's not what's happening here.
I said hey, it could help keep your relationship with my parents intact if you talk to them instead of me. This makes sense to me and not as a manipulation. I really fail to see how that is manipulative in any way. Hey honey, here's your opportunity to do this. Just because someone might feel humiliated doesn't mean it's the wrong thing to do. The point is so that 1) he can see someone he already has a relationship with, find out about the truth 2) and yet show him love as a reaction, not shame. You're only as sick as your secrets.