I hear ya LG. As someone who has tried to off herself.....ugh. Can't believe I did that and so glad I made it. I've never tried to harm myself sober. I don't have stats but I'm pretty sure substances play heavily in suicide.
As far as the harm done to our children? Yeah. Its a thing. Obviously. I think about it all the time. I just hope my daughter doesn't become me. Ugh.