Dear all-
Sunflowerlife what a wonderful idea for a thread and to get traffic about this topic as the Eating Disorder side of things tends to be on the slow side!
I have been working on food recovery for 18+ years. During the time of my own recovery work I met, loved and married a problem drinker and it is that relationship that got me to this site.
I have been thinking about this thread for some time and want to contribute my own ESH. For me compulsive eating (and all of the permutation and combinations of it which has been restricting to overeating) has been less about ONE particular food or a type of food and more about eating it because I am trying to numb out and not deal with my reality. My recovery really took off when I started to pay an appropriate amount of attention to food (for a long time it was the only thing I thought about....except exercise too), rather than following a strict or rigid eating plan.
I can binge on sweets but also can binge on traditional protein/fat foods. I can binge because I am H.A.L.T. I could binge because I was happy or sad. For me my eating disorder has been less about food and more about my discomfort of being in my own reality and about not using my voice.
As my recovery has progressed my actual binges might be less about a volume of food and more about feeling out of control.
I am not saying that talk of food is not important, I am saying that if I kept the focus ONLY on food it was not allowing me to truly dig into the reasons I was using food inappropriately. I also have found that if I am focusing on food, and someone else is following a different plan than I spend a lot of time comparing and contrasting and trying to make my "food" plan look like someone elses....when it falls short it is a trigger for me. If I am talking about how I feel around food and challenges around it it was less about a diet plan and more about the human condition.
As of today, I do not struggle with alcohol so this is not necessarily an appropriate piece for me to write but reading some of these posts has felt like when I read posts about people surprised that they can struggle with alcohol because they only drink beer. I can't imagine us having debates about what kind of alcohol is best when it comes to a problem drinker, but it can be easy to fall into this with food.
The most important part of healing for me has been about giving myself a break.....when I did that about food I actually found that it became easier for me to be with me....even if I made a poor choice. Beating up on myself kept me in shame, which in turn made me feel bad and would send me into a spiral in which I would engage with food.
Sharing my discomfort also helped. I have used counseling, 12 step programs, a dietitian, body work (massage), and other modalities to help my disordered patterns. Regardless for me reason for being in my recovery modality they seemed to help all of my "dis-ease."
So please don't take this post as a criticism....it is not. It is meant to ask though in addition to talking about food challenges to ask how you are feeling when you engaged with food? Do you have other stress going on? Are you trying to take on too much (many people are working on sobriety too)? What support do you have in place for your recovery(s)?
Some books that have helped me a lot in this healing:
Anita Johnson's Eating in the Light of the Moon
Anything written by Geneen Roth
Thanks again and as always please take what you like and leave the rest.