I guess what I don't understand.... maybe understand isn't the word to use...I don't know...
I let him know what my contingency plan would be and his reaction was to look up divorce attorneys and apartments. Not reaching out to his sponsor or any other healthy thing. It's like he knows he's planning on drinking again. It was very revealing to me of how his mind works (or doesn't). There's absolutely no need to go through with my plan unless HE decides to choose to drink.