You've heard, "When I know better I do better?"
It takes time to get to know someone. We don't want to believe that someone we love has a problem.
Once you put together the many pieces of this puzzle, you got out.
It still takes time to grieve the lost promise, and the lost story we make up in our heads about how it's going to be.
You'll get better. It took me about eight months to get past the grief of my last broken relationship. You'll get there.