I know exactly what that's like. I've relapsed at least a hundred times since 2012. Sometimes it feels like I'm taking a few days off after a binge, and sometimes I accidentally stop, then keep it up for a while.
I'm a few months sober now, but it's tough coming into summer.
I'm finding that those relapses have taught me a great deal about how dangerous alcohol is to me. Write down each relapse experience, and learn from them, whether it's the eff-its, or some occasion that involves drinking. It's hard; sometimes it feels like another job, but so far, it's been worth it.