Me too Nightshade. I'm walking with you on this path only you can't see me but we are very much alike. Take deep breaths and vow for now that you will get through your moment where you wish for a drink (that bastard the AV- alcoholic voice) and venture on without it. Hard = yes. Doable = yes. Reroute your thinking with distraction. Some people like working out, others like binging on Netflix or some such notion. Good luck to you and keep posting. We all were there, we do care. Hugs to you my dear.