Noona honey I say this with love and kindness but you've got to find the strength to stop this honey.
Sexual assault is wrong. You are not to blame in any way. Please do not carry that burden.
BUT
Your addiction is putting you in frankly dangerous situations. Time to call time on the drinking as a matter of urgency honey.
Addiction just loves guilt and shame. Loves it! Well tough luck because today you are going to get your life back. Today can be the first day of the rest of your life. Please make today your day 1.
I say this again. Do not blame yourself blame your addiction. Sexual assault is wrong. Very wrong.
You may wish to look for the Class of May 2018 and join others seeking sobriety this month. Also the 24 hour thread is a wonderful place where you can check in and commit to you sobriety each day.
SR made all the difference for me and I really hope you stick around and get the support you need.
Take care ❤❤❤